DOING WHAT'S RIGHT - FROM THOM MCDONOUGH

One day this past week, the waves were pounding our shoreline as strong northwesterly winds drove the water ahead of it.  I was hoping to get out fishing, but given that I have a twelve-foot boat, powered by a 5 hp motor, the wind and waves made decision making easy.  I did what was right and stayed ashore.

I wish every decision to do what is right, was so easy.  Unfortunately, life is complicated by the circumstances that we experience and by the people we encounter.

The writer of the Book of James, who writes about the way we should live in the world, says that "Anyone, then, who knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, commits a sin."   That's a lot of responsibility on us!

It's a lot of responsibility because we live in a time where there is not a lot of clarity as to what is right and wrong.  We live in a time when it seems that people are taking it upon themselves to determine what is right, using their own circumstances and judgement to make those calls.  Subsequently, what they feel is right, maybe hurtful to others.

I was raised in a Christian tradition that promotes loving one's neighbour, whoever that neighbour might be.  The problem comes in actually carrying out that love, giving it form, as we go through our daily living, trying to do what is right.

There has been a recent bit of debate over the playing of the 74 year old song, "Baby, It's Cold Outside".  Some find the song offensive in this era of #MeToo.  Others are saying that censorship of the tune, in our era of rap and a President of the United States not being sanctioned for his bragging about grabbing women inappropriately, is ridiculous.

What is the right thing to do?  Tough call, this.

What I try to do is know my neighbour.  I try to think about consequences.  I try to think about any hurt that I do might cause just as much as  I consider what good I'm trying to accomplish.

Knowing that I'm an imperfect human being, I also have to recognize when I have not done right and take the appropriate actions to seek forgiveness and make amends.

Doing the right thing isn't always easy, but we'll make fewer mistakes if we approach what we do with love in our hearts and a real desire not to hurt others.

Peace and be well, friends.

 Thom

WHAT DO I NEED?

As I sat down to write this article, I struggled for a while, trying to decide on the correct title.  I was wavering between, "What do I want?" and, "What do I need?".  As you can see, I eventually landed on the latter question, influenced mostly by my self-understanding that I want a lot of things...things that tend to be frivolous or superficial...while the things I need are few but essential to a good life.  That difference between what I want and what I need has become more important as I get older and perhaps a bit wiser.

Two things I think I need are relationships and community.  I'm pretty certain that I can't live a good life and be happy without being in relationship and being in community.  That sounds simple and straightforward; in fact, it's more complicated and difficult to achieve than say, having a big new home or an expensive, flashy car.  Relationships and community - good ones - are rarer than diamonds.

The community I'm searching for is a lot like First United Church, with a few differences.  The differences would be minor in scope but significant in impact.  For instance, there would be more people to share my enthusiasm for a communal table - preparing food together, sitting down to eat, engaging in discussion, spending unhurried time together.  I'm not talking about grand dining, just simple, thoughtful meals taken in the company of people who share (or perhaps don't share) common ground.  Another difference would be more people who are engaged, who see themselves as partners, co-workers and activists in the grand project of putting faith into action; that would mean lending their muscle, mind and heart to give meaning to our vision of becoming an open and welcoming community led by the Love of God.  A third difference in this community I need would be a prevailing sense of energy, determination and hope.  The community would be infused with the conviction that, God being our helper, there's much we can do to build "a house where love can dwell, and all can truly live."

Over the next weeks and months, we are all going to have an opportunity to think about and respond to questions about the sort of community of faith we need and want.  It's important work that we need to do individually and together.  You've read what I need...I'd like to hear what you need. 

Pat

LISTEN...GOD IS CALLING

There is a hymn titled, "Listen, God is Calling".  The Choir has sung it before.  The first few lines go like this:

Listen.

Listen God is calling.

Through the Word inviting.

Offering forgiveness, comfort and joy.

I wrote last week about how trying events had been for me.  Somebody must have been listening.  I came to church on Sunday morning and it was like the worship service was designed for me.  It had everything I needed to help me get back on the Way.

What was so special?  Three things.

There was the baptism of Hayven Waukey.  I don't know Hayven or her family beyond the short time I spent with them Sunday, but I think there is no sacrament that we celebrate that is as uplifting to me as a baptism.  This may sound uncaring - it doesn't matter to me whose child it is, a baptism is full of hope, promise and joy.  I'm certain that it is an important event for the family.  It's really important for me to be part of the community that surrounds that blessing and welcoming of a child.

Then there was the telling of a tale - the Stone Soup story.  The story was told as it will never be told again.  Who could ever duplicate the accent of the storyteller?  Was he from the Caribbean or somewhere in Eastern Europe?  And the immersion of the children, their complete and utter belief in a magic soup stone.  You all saw it - you were watching them, as I was watching all of you.  For a moment, we all believed in magic too.

We wrapped up with a communal meal - a warm, hospitable offering of donated soups.  There's no more certain sign of community than a shared meal...the sound of slurping, the clinking of spoons on empty bowls, the return for seconds and thirds.  I was well fed.

I think most of the time, I hear what I want to hear.  Last Sunday I heard what I needed.

May the Lord bless us and keep us, be gracious to us and give us peace.

 Pat

Quote for the Week

"Light. Sun. Shining. Rays.

Compassion. Wisdom. Radiance. Grace.

Joy. Hope. Kindness. Love.

These are the things we are made of.

~ Mary Davis ~

A Week's Worth of Gratitude

Saturday ~ Will Shakespeare

Sunday ~ Jessica Misener

Monday ~ people who work for the common good

Tuesday ~ healing energy

Wednesday ~ the sound of snow crystals on fallen leaves

Thursday ~ flu shot

Friday ~ clean drinking water

Friday Prose

"Move in the direction that brings you closer to Creator in all things.

The trail will be revealed and the helpers will come to you."

~ Richard Wagamese, Embers, 2016, Douglas & McIntyre ~

JUST SETTLE DOWN

If I had to choose a single word to describe the last seven days, it would be "trying".  I mean trying in the sense that my patience has been tried, my equanimity has been challenged, and my sense of "what will go wrong next" has been heightened.  It's been a week of unwelcome events.  I'll confess that there have been times when I just wanted to crawl back under the covers and shut it all out.  I won't bore you with the details - I've told the story several times this week to different people and even I'm getting sick of hearing it.

Throughout these trying times, I've been lucky to have people around me who have helped me to reflect on what I am experiencing.  Those people have helped me gain perspective and understand that my trials and tribulations are minor compared to what other people are experiencing.  At most, what I've had to endure has been inconvenient and frustrating.  Nothing (so far) has been life threatening or even life altering.  I am grateful for that - or rather, I should be grateful for that.  I'm working on it.

Misfortune, minor or major as it might be, has the potential to awaken me to the mercy and blessings that often accompany it.  It's only in reflecting on the past week that I recognize the gifts that came to me through some adversity.  When the power went out at my home, I played Yahtzee with Thom and Marnie around the table by candlelight - a game I enjoyed more than 50 years ago when camping at Berford Lake.  When we could not cook a turkey dinner in our oven (again, no power), our neighbours stepped in to cook it for us.  The next day, my sister and brother-in-law hosted us for a wonderful supper.  When the electrician and hydro workers visited to get things sorted out, they were prompt, competent and generous with their help.  My house didn't burn down and no one was hurt.  In the midst of minor turmoil, life went on...as it should and must.

I won't go so far to say that I'm glad to have experienced the events of the past week, but I will readily admit to gaining deeper appreciation for the gifts of hospitality, friendship, competence, and assistance freely offered.  It has been an experience that gives deeper meaning to the blessing that follows below.

May the Lord bless us and keep us, be gracious to us and give us peace.

 Pat

Quote for the Week

"I've had a lot of worries in my life,

most of which never happened."

~ Mark Twain ~

FRIDAY QUESTIONS

Who do you love?

Whom do you serve?

How wide is your circle of compassion?

~ Omid Safi, Tapestry on CBC Radio One, October 16, 2018  ~

GOD AS LIFE

The new season for the First Editions Book Club commenced last month.  I hosted the study of a book by Father Richard Rohr, titled "Falling Upwards".  As I told the group gathered in the upstairs lounge, I came to that book in a roundabout way, led to it by previously-read books by Rohr and other writers who challenge and encourage me to wonder about faith and spirituality.

I had five pages of notes prepared for the book club discussion and used few of them - time was too limited to go deeply.  But, one phrase from the middle of the book stayed with me.  The phrase was, "God comes to you disguised as your life." 

The words were spoken by a woman named Paula D'Arcy, who is a well-known and widely travelled author, speaker, playwright and a former psychotherapist.  In 1975, while three months pregnant, she survived the loss of her husband and young daughter in an accident.  Six months later, she gave birth to another daughter and became a prominent female voice for peace and healing.  From that brief bio of her, I can't claim to know Ms. D'Arcy, but I have a glimmer of understanding of why she would see God in life and life in God.

I spend most of my waking hours busy with work of one sort or another: paid work, volunteer work, fun work, unpleasant work...all types of busy-ness.  I usually feel that my work is rewarding.  There are times though, that I realize that being busy feeds a part of me that is always hungry.  I could call it ego, or pride or self-esteem - it really doesn't matter what I name it.  It isn't the best of me and it isn't what my life should be about.

During the rare and fleeting moments when I am fully awake to the world around me, when my head is not filled with busy-ness, I have a deeper appreciation for what is divine and sacred in my life.  Life is not about deadlines, to-do lists, goals and objectives.  It's about how I treat others, how I relate to creation, and where I find my Way in daily living. 

I wish I could stay in closer, more continuous touch with that sense of sacredness and to know more of God in life, in everyday life.  Now that would be worthwhile work.

May the Lord bless us and keep us, be gracious to us and give us peace.

 Pat

Quote for the Week

"The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort

to acknowledge that all I am and have,

is given to me as a gift of love,

a gift to be celebrated with joy."

~ Henri J.M. Nouwen ~

A Week's Worth of Gratitude

Saturday ~ hockey game with Philip

Sunday ~ membership, communion and celebration

Monday ~ Larry Henry

Tuesday ~ golden forests

Wednesday ~ mercy

Thursday ~ music and song

Friday ~ Larry Henry

I'M A HAPPINESS JUNKIE

Intuitively, I know that life is not exclusively about happiness.  I know that the pursuit of happiness can, at times, be a selfish and shallow endeavour.  I know that, but...I really like to be happy.  So, being an admitted happiness addict, I do my best to temper my hunger for happiness by making certain it's not all about me.  Usually, I fail at that because, well, I'm the one experiencing the happiness and it's hard for me not to think I'm at the centre of it all.

This past week, I've been very happy, most of the time.  I was happy to be together with Philip Cochrane, Sue Bos and Jacob Shaw (our student intern minister) as we met for the first time as Jake's Lay Supervision Team.  We spent two hours after worship last Sunday, talking about how we are going to support Jake's ministry at First United, how we will work together and what we each want to get out of the experience.  We shared a meal together.  That was a happy experience.

Later in the week, Church Council met for the first time since June and we had a packed agenda - I was dreading the load of business we would have to get through.  At the end of the evening, three hours later, I was a happy person.  We did really good work as a group; our discussions were meaningful, our decisions were well considered and our intentions were faithful.  I was happy to get back together with that group of dedicated ministers and lay leaders. 

Mid-week, I drove to Toronto and back with a couple of friends.  We were off to a meeting at Toronto Conference and the best part of the experience was the chance to talk for the two-hour ride down to the City and to resume those discussions for the return journey.  In this day and age, the opportunity to pay undivided attention to other people for that length of time is rare.  We covered a lot of ground, literally and figuratively; I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Yesterday, everywhere I turned I encountered happiness: I was at the celebration of life for Terry Moore and learned things about Terry that I never knew.  I met many of his friends and family.  I helped the women who were hosting the reception in Griffith Hall following the service - I was the dishwasher - and being with those ladies made me appreciate the benefits of being part of a team that is engaged in offering generous, heart-felt hospitality.  Later that day, I sat in the choir loft for the first full choir practice of the new worship season.  We welcomed each other, prayed for those who were not able to be there and we sang for the next 90 minutes.  We sang old songs and new songs, we sang our hearts out.  to top the evening off, when I came out of choir practice, I emerged into our lobby and it was chock full of Guides and their parents - a beehive of excitement and happiness.  What a way to end the day!

There's enough grief in this world for all of us.  I'm grateful that there is an equal measure of happiness.

May the Lord bless us and keep us, be gracious to us and give us peace.

Pat

TEAMS AND TEAMWORK

Twenty years in the army taught me the value of teamwork.  It was drilled into me when I was an officer cadet in basic training and it was a major component of my work for the next 20 years.  As a leader, part of my responsibilities was to ensure that all members of the team were working together to accomplish the mission.

The bad news is that, through my middle age, I have lost some of my appreciation for the importance of teamwork.  The good news is, it's not irretrievably lost...I'm learning all over again, that things turn out  better when I work as part of a team.  I am reminded every day of my limitations, physically and mentally.

About a month ago, I announced to my fellow residents of Kingston Beach that Thom and I would be tearing out the old, crooked and sagging mailbox stand at the head of our laneway.  The plan was to replace it with something solid and serviceable. One of the neighbours responded quickly with an offer to help.  He is an active 76 years old and quick to volunteer, so I told him yes.

The work started Thursday morning at 9 am sharp and we finished at 2:30 pm - including a hour's break for lunch.  I was pleased with the end result; and, it was deeply satisfying for me to work with others and to share in the outcome of our labours.  You know that feeling...a deep, contented sigh at the end of a demanding job.

This may come as a surprise to you, but I get the same satisfaction from working with you at First United - whether it is on Council, or at coffee time, or a community dinner or book club or Choir.   While it is true that I able to do many things by myself, working with partners or as part of a team brings significant rewards to my heart and soul.  The strange thing about teamwork is that the object of the effort often doesn't matter as much as the experience of being alongside others in a common cause.  And the added bonus of teamwork as a Christian, is we are always able to call on God as our helper.

If you think that you don't have any special gift or talent to contribute, take this small piece of advice from someone who is re-learning the value of teamwork.  Just give your presence, your being as part of a group of others - believe me, that's a gift.

May the Lord bless us and keep us, be gracious to us and give us peace.

 Pat

Quote for the Week

"We rise by lifting others."

~ Robert Ingersol ~