COMMUNITY AND BELONGING

I grew up in a era when iconic sports broadcaster Howard Cosell dominated the airwaves with his special (over-wrought?) style of announcing the play-by-play of professional boxing matches and football games.  I can remember listening to him interview athletes as they stared into the harsh camera lights, trying to explain their feelings about winning or losing a contest.  Howard had a phrase that I heard more than once in his career: he used to exclaim in passionate tones, "Oh, the joy of victory!  Oh, the agony of defeat!"  Howard was never one to spare the hyperbole when it came to his announcing duties.

If Howard had been present at the Westside Bowl on Wednesday night, he'd would have been hard-pressed to find people to interview along those lines of defeat or victory.  Our inaugural First United Bowling Night was more along the lines of fun, laughter, fellowship, and high spirits.  I felt it was a night for belonging and community.  Certainly, there was joy in abundance; but, if there was any agony, it would have been the following morning when stiff muscles protested against unfamiliar activity from the previous night.

I am ever amazed and always heartened where I find community - where I experience a sense of belonging.  For a short period, we were a team...Harry, Bev, Kristal, Agnes, Mel, Don and me.  Competitors in a minor way, but a team for certain.  Honestly, it didn't matter (much) about the score.  I gave up worrying about that after the first ball rolled down the lane.  We high-fived with abandon.  The simple sharing of time together, commiserating over our gutter balls (many), celebrating the small successes of our strikes and spares.  It was nothing short of fine. 

It was all I had hoped for and more than I expected.  I think I'll do it again.

Pat

Take This Away With You

A deep sense of love and belonging is an

irreducible need of all people.  We are

biologically, cognitively, physically and

spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to

belong.  When those needs are not met, we

don't function as we were meant to.  We

break.  We fall apart.  We numb.  We ache.  We

hurt others.  We get sick.

~ Brene Brown ~

A Week's Worth of Gratitude

Saturday ~ 9 deer watching me from the corn field

Sunday ~ woolly bear caterpillar

Monday ~ Jackie Ralph singing O Canada

Tuesday ~ eating well

Wednesday ~ bowling buddies

Thursday ~ finding friends with Jacob

Friday ~ John15:17

HAPPINESS

This past Wednesday, the United Nations released the 2019 Happiness Report.  I didn't know that such a thing existed until then...imagine, an international ranking of 156 countries to determine which is happiest.  It must feel good to be ranked high when it comes to happiness. 

For 2019, the happiest country in the world is Finland.  The other top-ten are Denmark, Norway, Iceland, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Sweden, New Zealand, Canada and Austria.  Look at that!  Canada finished 9th out of 156.  The rankings are based on factors such as economic wealth, life expectancy, social support, freedom to make life choices and levels of government corruption.  I guess Canada is in good company and we should be proud to make it into the top 10.

But, I wonder how it feels to be ranked near the bottom?  That would make me feel very unhappy.  I live in a pretty happy country, but apparently, a lot of other people do not.  Is it any wonder that levels of immigration are so high, that so many people and families are on the move seeking a better life?  Imagine living in a country that scored somewhere below 100 on that ranking.  I'd be trying to move up the scale too.

I live in the 9th happiest country largely by good fortune - I was borne here.  I like to think that I contribute in small ways to making Canada a happy country, but if chances were different, it could easily be me seeking a better life in a different country.  It's sobering to look at happiness from a another perspective and to recognize what a grace-filled gift I've been given.

Coincidentally, today is World Water Day.  I don't know if there's an international ranking for "water", but I suspect that Canada would finish fairly high on that scale, maybe even in the top 10.  We are gifted with great natural reserves of fresh, potable water, and bountiful seas and oceans; I tend to take the gift of water for granted too.  2.1 billion people live without safe water at home - many of them right here in Canada.  Somehow, that doesn't seem right in a country ranked 9th for happiness.

Don't get me wrong.  I think we should celebrate all these gifts...gifts of happiness, gifts of clean water, gifts of prosperity - gifts of grace.  I think that before we take any credit for our good fortune, we should also try to bring those gifts to others.  That would really be worth celebrating.

Be grateful, together.

Pat

Take This Away With You

Gratitude is social.

It is about presence, participation and partnership.

It is about being with one another, in life together.

It is the thread of nature and neighbour,

the seemingly fragile strands of gifts and goodness

that weave our lives together.

~ from "Grateful", by Diana Butler Bass ~

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Over the next few weeks and months, we are going to be part of a process of discerning a future path for First United Church.  I'm not part of the reference group that will be guiding us through that process...I'm just like all of you...someone who will be asked to ponder and discuss, to imagine and wonder what our community of faith should look like in the years ahead.  We'll be asked to answer some questions and offer some thoughts and opinions on what our ministry and mission might be.

I know that sounds a bit daunting, but I'm excited about the opportunity that is before us.  This is a time when faith and doubt go hand in hand.  I want to share my initial thoughts with you - not as a leader or an expert - just someone who has been thinking a bit about our future together.

I think that at this early stage of the process, it's important for all us to believe and act as if there are no stupid questions or certain answers.  As much as we can, we have to play our role like a painter with a blank canvas, ready to be filled with the art of our ideas and hopes and plans.  Things might seem fuzzy and uncertain, but the goal is clarity and definition, to the extent that we can bring that into being.  That will take some time and we might not get it exactly right the first go around.

I'm also of the opinion that at this early stage, the questions we ask ourselves are actually more important than the answers we might come up with.  This opportunity to chart a course is a rare one and I want us to take advantage of it.  Let's leave no door closed or possibility unexplored as we sift through what is essential and desirable for our future.  Let's be willing to look outside and beyond ourselves, for what other people and the world might reveal to us.

Something else is clear to me at this point.  Discernment, done well, will challenge us to examine what we've lived in the past, what might be done in the future; it will push us to consider stepping beyond what has been comfortable and known to us.  There's a part of me that is fearful of what might come about from our efforts.  I'm reminded that I've been afraid before and managed to find the Way.  We can do that again, together.

Let's remember to treat each other with integrity and respect, to be loving of others and ourselves.  Let's remember that God is our helper.

Pat

Take This Away With You

Come, my friends.

'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.

Tho' much is taken, much abides;

and tho' we are not now that strength

which in old days moved earth and heaven,

that which we are, we are ---

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

~ from "Ulysses, by Alfred Lord Tennyson ~

POETRY TO INSPIRE

T

THERE WAS A TIME I WOULD REJECT THOSE

There was a time I would reject those

who were not my faith.

But now, my heart has grown capable

of taking on all forms.

It is a pasture for gazelles,

An abbey for monks.

A table for the Torah,

Kaaba for the pilgrim.

My religion is love.

Whichever the route love's caravan shall take,

That shall be the path of my faith.

~ Ibn Arabi ~

SOUNDS OF SILENCE

I participated in a three-day silent retreat this week at the Loretto MaryHolme retreat centre over in the Keswick area of Lake Simcoe.

My tongue was intentionally silent for a short period of time...only 46 hours.  Up until a few years ago, I lived by myself.  If I am alone, being silent is not a burden.  Being silent around others is a challenge; we are social animals, and there is an expectation that the space between us will be filled with conversation.  At Maryholme, that silent space was honoured, uncomfortable and awkward though it might have been.  Instead of words, a smile or a nod served for speech.

In silence, I did not expect was the surge of activity in my mind.  It was like my brain was taking advantage of my tongue at rest.  Aside from times of sleep (I did not dream, near as I know), ideas and thoughts cascaded through my mind - it was all I could do to make note of what was worthwhile saving for later.

The retreat felt like I was giving myself permission to step away from the crash and muddle of everyday life.  At Maryholme, the routine is simple, slow and, of course, silent.  The retreat was a combination of familiar and new.  Meals were home cooked by an in-house chef, but self-served.  I ate in the presence of others, but I ate alone and in silence.  I walked in a 100-acre forest, sometimes alone and sometimes in company - the sounds of the trees, the crunch of snow and the occasional crow intruding on my silence.

In my room was a vintage cast iron claw foot bathtub, one of those ones with the gently sloping back that seems to fit a reclining posture perfectly.  Yesterday, I filled it with hot water to soak for more than an hour while reading.  The bright morning sun was shining over my shoulder through the bathroom window.  I occasionally ran the water to restore its warmth, and I stayed in it until my skin was wrinkled like a prune.  It was my first bath in decades - I'm a shower man.

What did I think about?  I thought about me and you and us, about them and they, and certainly I thought about it and nothing.  I thought about everything.

If you ask me what it was like, I won't be able to explain it to you.  You wouldn't recognize it.  My best response will be: Give it a try.

Pat

Take This Away With You

You cannot fix yourself by breaking someone else.

IT WILL MAKE YOU STRONG

I stumbled across this quote recently:

"I will make you happy, said Life, but first, I will make you strong."

I wasn't able to discover its origins, but it immediately struck a chord.

This week, I attended a municipal public meeting for the purpose of exploring the pros and cons of a development proposal for land adjacent to my home at Kingston Beach.  I was there with many of my neighbours.  Oddly enough, it was the biggest gathering of neighbours in our small community for several years.  We live closely together, and most of the time we are friendly with each other; but on balance, we all value our privacy. 

Watching each of my neighbours go to the podium and listening to them share their thoughts and concerns, I was struck by how little I really know them.  We greet each other when we meet at the garbage shed every Monday morning.  We sometimes work together to fill a pot hole in the road or to repair a mailbox.  We wave to each other when we pass or stop briefly to chat when we meet each other out on a stroll.  I could go next door to borrow a cup of sugar or a measure of flour - but we're not close...we're "neighbourly".

And yet, in the council chambers where we met to listen and speak, we all sat closely together.  I saw glances of support exchanged and whispered encouragements offered.  There was a web of connection between us, a combination of common interest and enough shared sentiment to allow us to have empathy.  It drew us together and, for a short while, we were united. 

The odd thing was, it was a challenge - a crisis of sorts - that brought us into that circle.  I don't think for a moment that collectively, we all have the same opinion about the development proposal - some will favour it, some will resist it, and others likely won't care one way or the other. 

It reminded me of how at First United we are going through a period of unsettled wondering, knowing that things are changing but not yet recognizing the Way ahead and being deeply uncertain about what sort of faith community we will become.  I'm not good at sitting patiently while this sort of tension works on me; my discomfort is often on display as frustration and anger.   

Perhaps, I can apply the lessons I learned this week: be present, be supportive, be honest, have empathy.

I will pray for strength too.

Pat

Take This Away With You

Our capacity to make peace

with another person and with the world,

depends very much on our capacity to

make peace with ourselves.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh~

A Week's Worth of Gratitude

Saturday ~ a good meal and great music

Sunday ~ Coffee by the Choir, my bowling buddies

Monday ~ Sheila Clark's cake mixes

Tuesday ~ the lady who delivers my mail

Wednesday ~ important work done well

Thursday ~ neighbours with a common cause

Friday ~ sausages