Two weeks ago, my
friend the farmer suffered a heart attack.
I didn't hear about it until about four days afterwards when his wife
called. Earlier this week, I visited him
at his home and spent about an hour with him as he retold the tale.
He told me that the
episode itself wasn't that bad; he didn't experience a lot of pain and he
didn't lose consciousness. He was out in
the shop making an adjustment to a new overhead door opener and not feeling
well - a constant but minor discomfort and a feeling that things weren't
right. He walked back to the house and
his wife called an ambulance. Two hours
later, he was in a helicopter on his way to Kitchener. After tests, the cardio-vascular surgeon told
him that he had four major blockages and that rather than being able to repair
them with stents, he would need more extensive surgery...a quadruple by-pass.
The surgery went well
and my friend was at home in his own bed just five days later. He has a nurse visiting every so often to change
dressings and he tells me it hurts to laugh - he holds a cushion to his chest
and stomach to ease the pain. He'll get
staples out in about another week or so, if all goes well. All that to say, he's recovering well and is
eager to get back to normal, whatever that is.
His doctor says he cannot drive for about four weeks - that loss of
independence and mobility is perhaps the hardest thing for him to bear.
My friend is, by all
external evidence, a fit man. He's in
his early 70's, slim and strong, he's active and eats well, has never had a
serious medical condition in his life. I
asked him what he was thinking in the hours leading up to his surgery. He was silent for a while and then he told me
that for a short while, his thoughts were mostly to do with "why
me?". He said that when the doctor
told him he needed a quadruple by-pass he could hardly believe it and he felt a
mixture of self-pity and anger. After a
few hours, those thoughts changed to a kind of numbness. When his family visited him before going into
surgery, he said he was close to tears with a mixture of gratitude and love for
them, and fear that he would not see them again.
My friend told me
that when he saw his wife and son post-op, he was filled with joy and thanks
giving. He realized the precious gift
they were to him - and then he did shed some tears. He told me he feels like he's been given a
second chance, but he's still not sure what for. I suggested that perhaps it isn't a second
chance but an extension - an extension to keep living the good life every day,
without being brought to the brink of losing everyone and everything that is
important to him.
As I drove away that
afternoon, I thought to myself of the times I have been awakened through grief
or fear or doubt - just like my friend the farmer. That's the good that comes to us from the
shadow side of life.
May we all see the
light that shines for us in times of darkness.
Pat
Take This Away with You
In ordinary life we
hardly realize
that we receive a
great deal more than we give.
And, it is only with
gratitude that life becomes rich.
~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer ~
