WAKING UP TO LIFE

Two weeks ago, my friend the farmer suffered a heart attack.  I didn't hear about it until about four days afterwards when his wife called.  Earlier this week, I visited him at his home and spent about an hour with him as he retold the tale.

He told me that the episode itself wasn't that bad; he didn't experience a lot of pain and he didn't lose consciousness.  He was out in the shop making an adjustment to a new overhead door opener and not feeling well - a constant but minor discomfort and a feeling that things weren't right.  He walked back to the house and his wife called an ambulance.  Two hours later, he was in a helicopter on his way to Kitchener.  After tests, the cardio-vascular surgeon told him that he had four major blockages and that rather than being able to repair them with stents, he would need more extensive surgery...a quadruple by-pass.

The surgery went well and my friend was at home in his own bed just five days later.  He has a nurse visiting every so often to change dressings and he tells me it hurts to laugh - he holds a cushion to his chest and stomach to ease the pain.  He'll get staples out in about another week or so, if all goes well.  All that to say, he's recovering well and is eager to get back to normal, whatever that is.  His doctor says he cannot drive for about four weeks - that loss of independence and mobility is perhaps the hardest thing for him to bear.

My friend is, by all external evidence, a fit man.  He's in his early 70's, slim and strong, he's active and eats well, has never had a serious medical condition in his life.  I asked him what he was thinking in the hours leading up to his surgery.  He was silent for a while and then he told me that for a short while, his thoughts were mostly to do with "why me?".  He said that when the doctor told him he needed a quadruple by-pass he could hardly believe it and he felt a mixture of self-pity and anger.  After a few hours, those thoughts changed to a kind of numbness.  When his family visited him before going into surgery, he said he was close to tears with a mixture of gratitude and love for them, and fear that he would not see them again.

My friend told me that when he saw his wife and son post-op, he was filled with joy and thanks giving.  He realized the precious gift they were to him - and then he did shed some tears.  He told me he feels like he's been given a second chance, but he's still not sure what for.  I suggested that perhaps it isn't a second chance but an extension - an extension to keep living the good life every day, without being brought to the brink of losing everyone and everything that is important to him.

As I drove away that afternoon, I thought to myself of the times I have been awakened through grief or fear or doubt - just like my friend the farmer.  That's the good that comes to us from the shadow side of life.

May we all see the light that shines for us in times of darkness.

Pat

Take This Away with You

In ordinary life we hardly realize

that we receive a great deal more than we give.

And, it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.

~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer ~